


Journey

by Akudoir



Category: No. 6 - All Media Types
Genre: Diary/Journal, M/M, World Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:02:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25492057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akudoir/pseuds/Akudoir
Summary: Nezumi has left No.6 but not without a gift : a notebook given by Shion. A convenient companion to lay thoughts down on.
Relationships: Nezumi/Shion (No. 6)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	Journey

**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift for Hachiko of the No.6 discord server as a craft exchange ! This fanfiction was handwritten in a notebook and some items from the story added to it :) Hope this digital version will still be enjoyable !

_ Dear Nezumi, _

_ I know you plan on leaving soon. I know that it’s inevitable. But I also know we will meet again. This notebook is for you to write whatever you feel like or think about, memories from your travels, quotes from your favorite books, even things to not forget, grocery lists, whatever is useful to you. I’d love to take a peek at it when you come back home. _

_ I’ll be waiting for you. I will make No.6 worth coming back to. _

_ Shion _

* * *

What do you want me to write here, Shion ? I’ve never been a writer of any sort and my good memory is more than enough for everyday stuff. But you’d be disappointed if I brought that notebook back blank, I know it, you’re just so predictable. 

I’ll write what I did here, maybe it will keep you from assaulting me with questions when I come back. Don’t expect me to write everyday, though, I won’t necessarily have time for that, especially if nothing interesting happened throughout the day.

* * *

I walked all day, I passed the furthest point I had ever been from No.6. It’s rather pleasant to finally be away from this city, the West Block and what we have been through. I’m convinced there are a lot of other humans living outside of the cities. You know biology and ecology better than I do but there can’t be only six places on Earth where life is possible. Although , there isn’t much hope in sight from the spot I stopped at for the night. The ground is bare and mineral and I can see mountains topped by snow on the horizon. 

* * *

I have walked quite a lot the past few days but I’m getting used to it. It was mostly uninteresting rocky mountains with very little vegetation. I haven’t seen any animal since I left. 

But today I saw something you’d certainly be interested in. As I reached the top of a mountain ridge, I expected to see about the same type of landscape that I had already been through. But under me spread a green narrow valley carved by a river. A small forest grew there and even if it was rather secluded, it was filled with insects and birds. 

I realised that the last time I saw untamed nature was a very long time ago, probably when I was a child. Either was it perfectly trimmed in No.6 or in bad shape and eaten by starving inhabitants of the West Block.

* * *

I’m not writing much and you’ll probably be disappointed about the few things I do write. As I made my way across the mountains I saw more and more areas covered in grass and forests. I find things to eat rather easily, which is good since my supplies are getting low, and I’m starting to recognize which plants grow near water. That cold and clear spring water makes me remember the one we drank in the West Block.

* * *

Once I crossed the mountain range, I went through a rather wide and flat valley in which there were ruins of three or four villages. They are all overgrown with moss and vines and not much can be found and used there. Although I found a coin in one of them. It is certainly not worth much as it feels very cheap, but I figured you’d enjoy some souvenirs. 

I’m only surrounded by nature and haven’t seen any humans yet, not that I’m complaining, of course. I’m enjoying the quietness of it all, and not having much to worry about other than finding some food (which is rather easy, especially in abandoned fields) and going forward. Who knows when I’ll feel like going back to No.6.

One thing that I’m starting to miss is books. I searched through the ruined houses and did find some old books, but none were in a good enough shape to be readable. They were either molted, missing pages, burnt or reduced to a goo by water.

* * *

For the first time I’m writing because I feel that it’s important and worth it. It has been over a week since my last entry. I walked away from the mountains, towards the west, came across some more ruined villages and even a city, quite large. I even found a book to read, the Spider’s Thread by Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, which I enjoyed quite a lot. Then I reached a much sandier area. The air smelled like salt and the wind was blowing strongly. I knew what that meant. I thought I did. 

I have read countless books describing the sea. I’m familiar with the description of it, how it sounds soothing, how lips taste like salt when one reaches it, how it’s both still and constantly moving, its great calmness yet underlying strength. 

But I’ll be honest here. If there’s one thing that words are not enough for, it’s the sea. I finally understand why writers all describe the sea differently and never seem quite satisfied with it. I’m no writer, so I won’t even start trying to explain what it feels like to climb a sand dune, feet in the hot sand, and see this gradient of blue spread all over to the horizon once you stand tall, strong winds ruffling your hair, blowing through your clothes and stinging your skin. I wish you could see and feel this too.

I found myself spending more time there than I expected. I simply watched the waves come and go, wet my feet, then shy away only to come back a little closer. I realised that since I left a month ago, my travel has kept me busy and thinking about what had happened. But now, looking into this seemingly never ending horizon, I caught myself thinking about the future. About what will come next.

I’m thinking about No.6, what it will become now that you’re changing it, what I will do now that No.6, as it was before, doesn’t exist anymore. What kind of future do I foresee for myself ? Do I really want to have a quiet job, and live as if nothing had happened, in the city that destroyed my life as a child ? Even if, ironically, what helped me build my life again came from No.6 too. I promised I will come back, and I don’t plan on disappointing you. I simply feel like it will be more a matter of years than months. I have a lot to learn and unlearn to be steady again. 

* * *

It’s my first time running into people since I left. They live in a town by the sea and live on fishing and some farming. They aren’t many, about 30, and were surprised to see a traveller, but they told me I wasn’t the only one to come here. Others have, before me, but nowadays they are getting rather rare, about three or four per year. I didn’t ask anything from them but they offered me food and shelter, which I’m paying back by fishing with them. It was my first time eating saltwater fish and it tastes much better than I anticipated. I hope I will get the occasion to bring back a dried up ration so you can taste it.

I’ve only stayed here for a few days but it already made me realise what I, we, the West Block and people of No.6, missed out on. Life isn’t easy there, of course, but these people are free and happy, they live on their farming and fishing and according to what they told me, it goes rather well. They’re far from being as miserable as people dying of hunger in the West Block’s streets. 

Look at me, now I’m pitying West Block people I’d never laid eyes upon before you started living with me. What have you turned me into ? Is it weakness or wisdom ? Is that how I am now ?

  
  


* * *

I spent quite a long time with the fishermen, about a month. It was refreshing to learn to live with people a bit even though I’m still wary and keeping a distance between them and me. I learned quite a few new skills such as fishing and got along quite well with them. But I don’t want to spend my travels in one place. I’m preparing to leave, and they already gave me a net to fish on my own. Hopefully I’ll get to see them again when I come back. One of them who’s an artist gave me a watercolor of the sea, which I think you’ll like too.

* * *

I walked for a week and already came across another village, inland. It’s bigger than the fishermen’s and according to the people living there, they’re not alone. There are at least three other villages nearby. It’s surprising how many people are living outside of the cities. 

I stayed a bit with them. Spending so much time with people has taught me something I’d rather not admit, but I swore to myself I’d have to be a bit more honest. Now that I think of it, I’m not sure I want to hand you this notebook back anymore, knowing what I’m writing in it.

Anyway, I’ll worry about that when I come back. 

I realised that I thought I dealt with people well. In some aspects I did, and still do. Manipulation is easy for me, getting what I want from people has never been a problem. But I’m not good with them when I don’t need anything specific. Here I’m only making small talk, trying to get to know more about them, and make friends I suppose ? 

It all seemed so easy for you Shion, maybe too easy, speaking a few minutes with Inukashi made him your friend. Of course your natural kindness and easy trust in people played their parts, but there’s something else. The way you also managed to make friends with mice, rats and dogs, that natural charisma of yours. That’s something I can’t mimic. I’ll have to learn it my own way. It feels awkward, sometimes clumsy, but it’s going well. People seem to appreciate me. 

* * *

I stayed a bit in the village and left yesterday. As I walked, I thought back to what happened there, how nice some people were and how others were wary of a stranger like me. A woman who makes clothes and embroidery for the whole village gave me a necklace as a gift for helping her out. She told me it was meant to keep me away from illness and harm. 

And then I realised I had started to change. Already. Instead of replying something sassy, but true to my thoughts, I thanked her politely, even though I don’t believe jewelry can ward anything off. I guess that I, too, can say that you taught me well.

  
  


* * *

I’m sorry for not writing much, the notebook has stayed at the bottom of my bag and even though I have thought about it, I didn’t feel like writing before I got my thoughts in order. Not much has happened since I left the last village. The further I got from No.6, the more villages and people I came across. Not all were as nice as the fishermen, some were downright hostile but living in the West Block has taught me well and I didn’t get into any trouble. It seems like I’m getting closer to No.3, I’m curious to see what it’s like. But I’m also hopeful that it’s not like No.6 was.

I’ve been thinking a lot about No.6 lately. And I’ve come to a conclusion. I can’t ever forgive it. Forgiveness takes an unbelievable amount of strength, which you undoubtedly have. But I don’t. This city hurt me and so many people too much and I can’t bring myself to say that it’s forgiven because it’s in the past. No.6 has been and always will be built on foundations of blood and murder, that’s just how it is. I can’t forgive it for making us go through what happened in the correctional facility. For making you wish to die.

Yet you are changing it. Something I thought was only worth getting burnt to the ground. I’ve wondered if it will become compatible with my feelings or if I won’t be able to stand seeing it still existing. But I think it will be fine. By the time I’ll be back, it will have changed enough to be different. And that’s also something I need to learn. If forgiveness is impossible, then accepting change is. I can still despise what No.6 was while learning to appreciate what it has become, as two different entities.

Well it’s easier said than done. That kind of thing seems so easy for you. You’re so adaptable, strong enough to forgive and face that gigantic task of changing No.6. I feel like a coward for leaving you with such a big task, but I’m also working on getting better. I couldn’t stay with you without taking care of my own issues first. 

* * *

I reached No.3 today. 

It’s interesting, the first time I’ve ever seen another city. It seems close to what No.6 should have been in the first place : free, democratic, yet healthy and secure. Although from the little I’ve seen it still has its flaws. The gap between public and private services seems rather significant and people aren’t all happy, but is it even possible to make everyone happy ? At least they’re not being butchered.

On my way to the city I worked a bit and managed to make a little money to buy food and get a room in a small hotel. I plan on staying here for a bit, see if I’d enjoy this city life. 

I was expecting that if I looked for information about you here I would find it, but not printed on a newspaper as if you were the latest trending topic in town. It’s good to know you are doing well and working hard to make No.6 better. I read that you’re coming to No.3 next week to meet the mayor and learn about how things are done here. 

I know it’s selfish, but I’ll leave before you come. I don’t want to come across you. Well actually, the truth is I’m dying to. I’d love to spend some time with you, hearing about what you’ve been up to, what you have done and learned, how you handled the situation in No.6, with your own words, not articles. But it’s not the right time, it feels futile to catch you between two interviews, take a cup of coffee as if we simply were friends who had lost contact, ask mundane questions, then leave and go back to my business. I could, if I wanted to, take the airplane from here to No.6 and come back. Or send you a letter. But what for ? It will only open your wounds again, make you yearn for me to come back even though I haven’t been able to do what I want to do yet. 

I hope you will understand. 

* * *

I reached a desert. There’s supposed to be numerous oases populated by villages along a river flowing through it, so I will follow it.  **_The sand_ ** is very soft and beautiful, I was told it would get redder as I made my way to the first oasis. Everything is so quiet here, there are very few plants, it makes the landscape almost scary. It feels like if there wasn’t the river next to me I could get lost easily. But it’s also nice to be in such a calm place. I’m taking the opportunity to think about the future.

I’m worried about how much you will have changed. I’m sure you stayed, and will stay about the same. Strong willed, curious, both predictable and unpredictable, yet candid and utopist. But what is certain is that will have matured, grown and learned. Politics are hard, you must have faced various issues and hardships, and will still face them. Will you be able to keep your head cool ? To not feel too strongly about everything that surrounds you ? To not let it swallow you ? You will need to toughen up, of course, but I worry about how much you’re going to do it. If you’re not careful enough, it might overshadow your other qualities and you might change drastically. I hope I won’t regret leaving you to deal with this alone, although there are good people around you to support you. 

You will have built a new No.6. Better than before. Not an easy task, but you have put your mind to it so I know you will achieve your goal. At least you’ve got one.

I don’t really know what I should do. My only reason to live was to destroy No.6. And now what ? I will come back for sure, but will I stay in No.6 with you or leave again ? I have to make my decision before getting to you. I can’t simply come back and hang out while not knowing what to do. I like this wandering life, seeing a lot of different cultures is a good thing for me. But my first aim isn’t to have fun, but to know more about myself.

* * *

It’s been a long time since I last wrote here. Truth is, I’ve been meaning to for a while but could never bring myself to. I’m still unsure if I should tell you about this. If needed I can always tear this page off.

I reached a few oases and spent time there. Outside of the oasis there is almost no life, the night is unbelievably silent, but inside, there are hundreds of critters and birds which are mostly active at night. I suppose Rou and the other people who created No.6 saw the patch of land that would become No.6 like this too. A haven of peace and life in a lifeless desert.

In one of these oases, I met your father. 

I know it sounds unbelievable, I also couldn’t believe it at first, but I’m positive that it was him. A man who could be about Karan’s age even if it was hard to tell, who had worked on creating No.6 and had a son named Shion, unmistakable. 

He told me he wanted to go to No.6, get the gold hidden around it and become the ruler of the city. He also almost got killed because he tricked some men by giving them fake medicine like an idiot. I wonder how he managed to survive until now. You might already have guessed it, but I don’t like him. He wants to meet the new ruler of No.6 and his son, but if he learns that you’re both there’s no way he won’t try to contact you. 

I can’t do much about it. The thought of killing him on the spot crossed my mind, but you’d hate that. So I let him go without telling him I know you. Hopefully he will die or get lost on the way there, so you won’t have to meet him. If he gets in No.6 in one piece, I hope he won’t bother you in any way. Or else I’ll make him pay.

* * *

I spent quite a long time, almost two months, in the largest oasis which is almost a city. I worked in a variety of jobs there including actor, potter, cook, tanner (that one didn’t last long, it reeked), merchant and fisherman. Although I did quite a lot of things and learned new skills it was rather quiet. I eventually decided to leave with a caravan heading for No.2, which I know very little about. Apparently it’s a nice city and they’re paying a high price for goods coming from the desert. The caravan is carrying merchandise on camels, I didn’t think they were that tall, it’s impressive. You’d love seeing them, I bet you’d even be friends with them, and most probably name them. There are also humans in the caravan, heading for No.2 or another village or oasis on the way. Some of them are nice and keen on sharing stories. One of them is Damla, a girl of about my age. She’s very lively and always telling jokes, she taught me some basic crafts and she’s quite talented at them. 

We talk quite a lot at night. In the desert nights are cold but pleasant, it never rains and it’s a good occasion to talk after a long day of travel. She lived in an oasis until a group of nomads attacked her village and pillaged it, killing a good part of them. She had to choose between seeking revenge or leaving it all behind and joining the first caravan that she came across. 

I suppose we’re quite similar in some ways. But she chose to leave. A few years earlier I would have thought she’s a coward for abandoning her people and not seeking revenge, but now I don’t know. She’s a bright person and she’s working hard on making life in the caravan easier. Can I really blame her ? 

* * *

Lately, days have been quiet and empty. We went through a large gap between oases where we had to walk a lot and at a good pace in order to spend as little time in the desert as possible. We mostly moved at night, which the mice enjoyed more than I did. Very little talking to save our breath and water. It made a lot of room for thought.

It’s been almost two years since I left. I can’t be entirely sure but I counted the days and that should be close enough. It all flew by so fast. And yet I still don’t feel ready. I’m enjoying this wandering life and I’m getting better at it. I can positively say that I’m making good acquaintances and genuinely enjoying the company of some other people. But it’s not nearly as much as you are.

It never will be.

I swore to myself that I should be more earnest. I started thinking about the future and what it will hold, more seriously than I have done before. I became struck, and almost frightened by all the possibilities. From what I’ve seen and heard, there are many more places where humans live on Earth, not only the six cities. If I want to become a fisherman and live alone in a hut for the next sixty years, I can. But that’s not what I want. The only thing I really want is to be by your side.

It’s been a while since I was in No.3 and last heard about you. Almost a year. I hope you’re doing okay. That your father hasn’t bothered you, that you, Karan, Inukashi and Rikiga are doing well. I hope the duty of changing the city isn’t too heavy on your shoulders. I hope you’re not hating me for taking so long.

I miss you. 

Lately, in this sandy emptiness, I caught myself thinking a lot about you. More than usual. I think I feel homesick. Funny for someone who’s always been called a wanderer, isn’t it ? You’re my home, you’re the one I want to return to, after I’m done travelling. I hope that when I come back, my home won’t have changed enough to make me feel like a foreigner.

* * *

The caravan finally reached the edge of the desert. It’s a relief to not suffer from the heat anymore. We’re currently in grassy plains where nomads live off the products of their goats and cows. Some people started leaving the caravan already to go on their own. And Damla might soon do the same.

She doesn’t want to go too far from the desert as she wants to have the option to come back, if one day she wants to. She might settle with the nomads here but hasn’t decided yet. I’ll miss her, but I’m glad I got to spend this time with her. She taught me crafts and some of her native language, but also how to be more relaxed around people. Of course I’m still wary of strangers and I won’t ever trust people fully. Even around Damla, my knife is in my pocket, ready to be drawn. But I’ve started to enjoy the company more.

You’re the one who taught me that making friends wasn’t only enjoyable, but also useful. Without Inukashi and Rikiga, we would both have died in the correctional facility. It brings not only physical help, but also mental. It can help change the way we think and see the world. I’d use you as an example but you’re out of this category, you’re more than a mere friend. I’m still thinking about what to call our relationship. 

Anyway, Damla has also added to that feeling I have that friends, and even acquaintances, are good to have around, that’s it not a weakness to trust others. Gran was wrong when she said to not trust anyone to get stronger, but I can’t blame her. Not relying on trust did make me stronger, but not as enriched as I could have been. I’m glad I met Damla. She taught me a lot and talking with her with open hearts was a good experience. I will miss her when she leaves, but I can’t stay with her either. I don’t want to settle down yet.

* * *

_ Thank you for this fun time with you ! I’m glad we met, I learned a lot with you. I finally know how to use a knife, though I won’t ever be as good as you ! I’m sad to see you go, but I know it’s important. I hope you’ll find what you need in your travels, and that you’ll drop by when you make your way back to No.6. _

_ I would have loved to meet that boyfriend of yours (please let me make fun of you one last time about that, you won’t ever convince me that he’s not) but that’s how things are, I like hanging out with goats better than crossing the continent ! _

_ I hope we’ll meet again soon, _

_ your friend, Damla _

  
  


That’s it, Damla stayed behind. The caravan left this morning and she stayed with nomads who raise goats. They seem like they’re good people.

I’ll be honest here, I’m going to miss her. I suppose I could call her a friend. A real friend. I don’t feel like writing much. There’s too much and not enough to say at the same time. I’ll tell you more about her when I come back. Hopefully I’ll get to meet her again on my way back. 

* * *

I reached No.2 after two more weeks of walking. The leader of the caravan had told me a bit about it before. It’s a small city surrounded by lands that had grown back quickly after the war and that are quite fertile. They had communicated for a while with No.6 until they realised it was turning out oppressive. They then closed off any communication with it and kept very limited contact with the other cities, resulting in limited technology. 

I tried finding some information about you but people didn’t know much about the other cities and still thought No.6 was a dictatorship. I’ll have to wait some more to know if you’re doing alright. 

The city’s quite pretty and the weather here is colder, more similar to No.6’s. I will stay here for some time. The skills I learned in the desert will be useful here to make money and rest for a bit. I like moving around, but it’s been more than a month that I haven’t stayed a day in the same place, instead following the caravan, so it’s nice to rest. I’ll have to say goodbye to the other travellers who I befriended too, but they will stay a bit in No.2 as well.

* * *

It turns out that there are a lot of travellers coming and going in No.2 and I met a group of them at the market coming from up north, bringing dried fish to sell and pelts from animals I’ve never seen before. The north sounds like a ruthless and unforgiving place, but beautiful. They follow a path almost straight up to the north. Where they come from by the sea, there’s something called northern lights.

Their excitement was infections and even though they tried to explain what the lights looked like, it felt like words weren’t enough. I want to see them.

It’s the first time I’ve actively wanted something for the sole joy of it. Until now I was walking further from No.6 without any specific goal in mind, but now I want to go up north, see these lights and get back south. Go back on my tracks for the first time. It feels strange to be so excited about something. I’m glad this side of you rubbed off on me. 

I’ll be asking tips and advice from these guys to face off against the cold there, which will be very different from the cold in the West Block, and then leave.

* * *

My trip to the north was quick. It’s late summer so there’s still snow but the days are long, much longer than in the West Block. They get up to 20 hours of daylight here. But I’ve gotten used to the wild rather easily. The travellers taught me survival and hunting tricks and although it isn’t easy always living in the cold, I’ve gotten used to it. It’s easier to deal with than the desert heat. If I’m cold I can find a way to get thicker clothes or make a fire. But there’s nothing to be done against the desert heat but hope it will not kill me before the night comes.

In less than a month, I reached the traveller’s village where I was offered food and a place to sleep. They know a great place to watch the lights. One of the traveller’s mother gave me a sort of cinnamon pastry that tastes marvelous. I’ll ask for the recipe, maybe Karan would be interested. They get the cinnamon from the border of the desert.

* * *

I thought the sea would be what impressed me the most in my travels, but I was wrong. This time I only vaguely knew what to expect, and it went beyond my highest expectations. Words aren’t enough. It feels like watching a dream, colorful lights dance in the dark sky, they change shapes and mix together in harmony. It’s surreal.

I wish you could see them too.

I’m going to stay a bit longer in the village to watch the lights for a few more nights and think about what’s next. But I’m sure of it now, I’ve reached the end of my journey. I don’t know how to explain it, but it feels like seeing this has settled something in me. Maybe it is the wanderers’ restlessness. 

* * *

I think the time has come for me to think about our relationship. I postponed these thoughts for a while, but now, I’m ready. At least I think I am, I’ll never be sure of it. I had already thought about it before I left, of course, but never did I think I would have to make a decision. Before we infiltrated the correctional facility, there was no need to torture ourselves over naming a relationship that had very high chances of ending by one, or both, of us dying. And it almost did. And after that, it all went by so fast, I planned on spending some of my travels finding answers. But the more time I spent thinking about it, the more it felt futile. 

Something happened between us on that night we met. It’s undeniable.

From the start our relationship couldn’t be named. Acquaintances ? Well, yes, we barely knew each other, but acquaintances don’t save each other’s lives. Friends ? That’s simultaneously too much and not enough. Lovers ? We didn’t do anything lovers do, our relationship wasn’t stable enough and we didn’t even know each-other that well.

So what was it ? 

Whatever it was before, I need to make a decision on what I want it to become. I believe you have been thinking about it too? Or maybe was it clear from the beginning, after all, you kissed me first. Things have always been simple for you, you don’t think about consequences, but I need to think about them. You’d be able to blurt out “I love you” like it’s the easiest sentence to utter.

But maybe I’m also looking forward to that.

It took me a while to realise it, but my feelings are clear. I have a very deep and strong love for you. If I was like you and didn’t think about consequences, I’d tell you all of that and ask you out as soon as I come back. 

But I’m worried about something. I’m worried I will feel the need to leave No.6, and you, behind. I’m worried about going back to these painful memories of No.6. I believe in your ability to make it good and worth something, what I don’t trust is my ability to feel at ease there. 

I won’t stop doubting and worrying about this. So I have made a decision. 

I’m going to deal with the consequences. If I still don’t like the city, I’ll help you improve it and I’ll adapt myself. I’ll be by your side. I won’t be alone when dealing with these hard feelings. 

I love you. Not like a close friend, not like someone who saved my life, but as a lover. As someone I want to share my life with.

I’m still not sure if I deserve you, but if you want me in your life, it is more than enough for me.

I think now is time to head for home.

* * *

I decided to take about the same path back for a variety of reasons. First being that I want to meet quite a lot of people again, thank them for helping me out and check on them. According to an old map I found in No.2, it’s also one of the fastest ways there, but I’ll change it a bit to avoid part of the desert. 

I don’t feel fully ready to meet you yet, but I believe this trip back will help me get ready for it and envision my future better.

  
  


* * *

I met Damla again, she’s doing good and having a great time in her new life. She teased me again over how she’s always told me that you’re my boyfriend and how I always denied it. I can’t really blame her for that. I don’t know when or how, but I’ll meet her again in a few years. She’s an important part of my travel and she helped me realise what I really want and become a better person. I wish you can meet her one day too. I want to stay a bit longer with her, a few weeks maybe, but not too much. I can’t wait to see you. Now that I’m ready to come back, I don’t want it to take more time than necessary.

* * *

I’ve almost not written anything on my way back and I’m only a few weeks away from arriving. Not much new happened but it was great getting to meet friends and acquaintances again, telling them about my travels and learning what they’ve been up to. But I’ve also been walking a lot, never staying long anywhere. 

I avoided No.3 because I didn’t want to hear anything about you. I don’t want to hear any distorted words, the only thing that matters is that you can tell me what you’ve been up to. 

* * *

I’ve spent a night in the fishermen’s village. Most likely the last time I will be seeing human beings until No.6. They were happy to see me again and told me I had changed. According to them, I’ve become more relaxed around people, more talkative, and also friendlier. They’re probably right, when I first arrived here I barely talked with anyone and mostly observed, which is what I did best. This time I asked basic questions but they come naturally. I hope you’ll like this version of me too. I won’t ever be perfect, but I’m proud of what I’ve become. I’m a better version of myself now.

* * *

That’s it. I stopped for the night and I can see No.6’s lights on the horizon. I’m getting there tomorrow. I wonder how I should come back. Knock at your door ? Wait for you to get off from work ? None of that feels right. It doesn’t feel enough for you and me, don’t you think ? We need something more flamboyant. After all, the last two times we met weren’t what you’d call anything normal or uneventful. 

I know what I’m going to do. Finding your address won’t be hard, and with that done, I’ll sneak in through the window. Childish, isn’t it ? I almost feel ashamed, but honestly what would be more fitting ? It would be perfect if there was a storm and if you’d yell, but I can’t ask for too much. Sneaking through the window will be more than enough fun. I’m sure you’ll love it.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited in my life, I feel like a kid again. I can’t wait to hear about all the things you did, how you changed, how the whole city changed. 

This is most certainly the last time I’ll write here. This trip wasn’t always easy, but it was necessary and worth it. Having to look straight into myself was a hard task, even if it didn’t always feel like it as I wrote. Most of the thoughts I laid out here were the product of days and weeks of thinking. But I’m glad I managed to lay these feelings to rest, to grow up and understand myself better. 

I finally feel like I’m ready to be standing by your side. 

See you tomorrow, Shion.

  
  


* * *

_ I’m writing one last thing, it will make a fun memory to have this start and end with one of my notes. Thank you for this beautiful notebook and this theatrical entrance back in my life. I knew you would make it a great thing to read through. I knew you would keep your promise and return.  _

_ Reunion has come _

_ Love you,  _

_ Shion _

  
  
  



End file.
